“ Are you okay?” he whispered as he unlocked the handcuffs around my wrists.
The blindfolds were still on, and I imagined myself in the arms of my summer lover. Its July 2020, and we’ve been out of quarantine for almost a month. However, that didn’t mean anything because I haven’t seen my adulterous in a while.
Still, here I am, craving him with all 6 of my senses.
My husband began to pull off my blindfold, and before I opened my eyes, I begged God to forgive me one more time.
“ I’m elated,” I answered as I grabbed his face to taste myself before we went to wash-up for work.
Sex has become routine for us; I blame it on our zodiac sign, Capricorn. We literally schedule everything without trying; it’s crazy.
Anyway, although it’s routine, I feel like it continuously gets better. It’s weird for me because when I was younger, the thought of routined sex, with the same person for the rest of my life, frightened me.
Then again, those were times I was not “perfected in love,” as 1 John 4:18 English Standard Version (ESV) states in the bible.
So, I’ve committed Adultery.
Lock me up and close the gates of heaven. While I share my story, it may seem as if I’m committing another deadly sin, pride.
However, I am sharing with you what type of hell you may go through if sins are committed, so you can decide whether or not you should try.
Now, if you are here to read about the illicit story, in summary, it’s a boring story about giving oral sex in a library vault.
Not my best adventure, just kidding.
You should check out how one of my many fantasies became a reality. Reverting to the topic of Adultery, it is not a sin, but a transgression. When Adultery is committed, it is seen in the eyes of the law.
Many years ago, in 2005, an article from The Guardian stated, “ Most people believe the seven deadly sins are out of date…Cruelty is considered the worst sin anyone can commit nowadays, followed by Adultery, bigotry, dishonesty, hypocrisy, and selfishness.”
While many people may think sins are outdated, whether they want to believe in them or not, it is instilled in most people as a survival law to decide whether or not they want to sin or not. I asked my nonreligious hubby to confirm my point.
Me: Babe what do you think about Adultery
Hubs: It’s wrong.
Me: Is it a sin?
Hubs: No, people just shouldn’t do that
Me: I committed Adultery
Am I dead?
No, but I and the rest of the world has been in quarantine for the last 4 months.
For confused people, Adultery would be a form of lust in the 7 Deadly sins.
Okay, so you are prideful about the sin you’ve committed?
I was raised, Christian. While I didn’t believe in the words of the bible, I took the seven deadly sins literally. Participating in such wrongdoing, I went crazy.
My mind tortured me.
Lucky for me, torture turned me on, so I’ve become more lustful than ever before. To top it all off, my husband loves it. Some might say, “ Oh, its because he’s cheating on you.” That statement is the thing, even if he is, I wouldn’t care. I would trade this connection that I have with God for anything.
Oh, you’re a bigot!
Call me any name that you want. I have been forgiven by the Gods and Goddesses of the universe.
People love to judge and/or label you. Many years ago, I handed my life over to God. Throughout those many years, the relationship we share is not one that many people would understand.
See, God created me for a reason. While it takes a lifetime to know what that reason is, I’ve embraced the destined path I am on.
With that said, if you believe that I am a bigot, so be it. I am a healed, free, and a happy one.
Well, that’s selfish, God created all of us for a reason.
Isn’t that what self-care is all about?
When you put yourself first, being grateful for God’s creation of you, blah, blah, blah.
Many people forget they need to look in the mirror before they comment on someone else’s way of life.
People are so quick to judge others.
It makes me angry!
I think cruel things.
Sometimes I am pretty happy nobody can read my mind. With that said, if I think something that could be a possible sin, but I don’t act on it, did I commit it?
(Still trying to figure that one out.)
In my world and probably yours, I’ve done nothing wrong.
Take a breath here; think about the last statement.
Am I dishonest?
Many people would not want to agree with me. They are afraid to acknowledge almost everything we enjoy doing to make us feel reasonable or sane can be coined as a sin.
God forgives us many times; the love is unconditional. It is our mind that tortures us and tries to keep us from living our best lives is what keeps us in this close-knit, cloned lifestyle.
These mental illnesses or unhealthy traits are what’s killing us. These, too, are controlled by our minds and pushed upon us as worldly laws to prevent us from committing the forbidden seven deadly sins. All while still killing us.
Hell, trying to relay this overall message of this post makes me feel as if I am in a war with myself.
I feel like a hypocrite.
At the beginning of this post, I told you to choose whether or not you want to sin. As it gets closer to the end, I am telling you to continue to sin.
I sold you the idea of sin. My freeing, perspective has helped you see and believe that there is life on the other side. Heck, there’s light too.
From a person who has sinned and confessed, it is freeing and uplifting. I accomplished another goal. I wrote 1000 words for the heck of it. In those thousand words, I was able to free myself of the guilt and torture my mind was putting me through, which helped me change my career in the long run and focus on the tasks at hand for the dollar.
I hope this post finds someone who feels lost. The overall message here is to understand that no matter what, God forgives you and will always love you unconditionally. Last but not least, you have to free your mind to receive the true blessings that are coming your way.
As my elders and ancestors have always said, “ An idle mind is the devil’s playground, so keep busy and write on.”
You might be asking, but will you sin again?
To answer your question, my lovely reader, “ I was born a sinner.”
Originally published on teawithkrystle.com